please don't judge me for what i am about to disclose.i am a lost and lonely little souli am a faded remnant of something i once tried to pretend to be.i am alone. ever only.i am frightened. like a princess childwho once discoveredher mother had 2 heads.i am deathly afraid of deathand petrified of living in fearand fearful of terrorand thereforecan not live.i am nothing to be admiredi am nothingbut a liarthe only way i know to be strongis to be anotheri don't have 9 lives like a catbut i have at least 2though the second right nowfeels untrue.i should have died that nightto keep myself from knowingthat i should be deadi could have kept my one head.distasteful. my life seems wasteful.i steal to feed my inner pooli miss youthat girl who should have diedi hated her for being unwiseand now that i am...wise, that is.well, i hate that tooi know enough to knowthat i should know better.i am a pretender.i twice found a haven, i fit myself init was sanctity.i thinkthen it was gone.i can feel my brainas it atrophies.little holesbaby tumorsi can feel my facepuffy and weaklike a maskof bee stingsi can feel my bodyfading awaymy joints achemy bones breaki can see that my eyesare straining to seemy jawclicks incessantly from the months or yearsof amphetamines and mdmathe hearing on my left side muted by something foreignto my bodyyouth seems forgotteni bleed every monthfor a child that should be minethat will make my life worth livingbut it can't be her anymorelike it could have beenif i hadn't given it up for my own mother.catharsis.i feel sad.still mournful. (hold on to me, girl)is that the light?through there?